


Numinous

by NaniRWhite



Category: Divergent - All Media Types
Genre: Divergent, F/M, abnegation, amity, candor, dauntless, erudite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 15:24:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 19,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11405205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaniRWhite/pseuds/NaniRWhite
Summary: Maeve Madore is an Amity transfer who is just trying to make it past Dauntless initiation. That's a little hard to do when a certain Dauntless leader is constantly breathing down your neck.-Follows the Divergent book/movie plot but with some differences that i made. :)





	1. Chapter 1

"There are five factions. Erudite, who are the smart people. Amity, that's where we are; are kind and peaceful. Candor, who are always honest. Dauntless, who are fearless and value bravery. The last is Abnegation, who are selfless; they help the factionless who don't have a faction. There is a test that tells you what faction you are, but they say you don't have to choose the one you get. You get to decide what you want to be and where you want to go."

"Maeve honey" my mother shakes her head, I turn to look at her. "He's only a baby, he's got a long way to go before he chooses." I don't though. Today I take the Aptitude Test to see which faction I get. I know for a fact that I am not Amity like my parents, I'm not kind, peaceable, or always happy.

"I'm sure you will get Abnegation, you never say no when someone needs help. You would do well there." She's wrong. I'm not like them, I don't say no when people need help because I'm afraid of disappointing them. I hate that; the thought of not living up to the standards that others perceive of me. Would I be disappointing my mother if I didn't choose Abnegation?

I pondered the thought, pulled out of it by the happy squeal of my little brother Takoda, hitting his food on the tray and giggling at the mess. Laughing a little, I leaned over and kissed his forehead, Takoda babbling nonsense in response. I check the time and slip on my shoes for school. Before I walk out the door, I glance back at my baby brother. Would I be disappointing him if I left Amity?

I pondered at that thought too while on the bus to school. I get off and make my way to my bench. It's not mine exactly but I sit here every morning and watch the Dauntless kids jump off the train in their black clothing; some of them had fiery red shirts on underneath their black leather jackets. I look down at what I was wearing. A yellow dress with a burnt orange sweater, a necklace with the Amity symbol on it, tan sandals, and my school bag. I have always been intrigued by them. By how much they were free.

I follow the rest of the Amity in. Some were 'politely' shaking their head in disagreement because of Dauntless and their rowdy ways. Making our way inside we were all placed in the same class taught by an Erudite woman. She was explaining the history behind our factions, the war, our founders, something they throw at us each year so this was nothing new to learn.

'You should choose the faction given to you by the test to ensure success but you are free to choose whatever faction you want. Once you make that choice there is no changing it.'

Our names are called five at a time and taken to rooms with the testing equipment. While waiting for my name to be called, I think about my thoughts from earlier. I'm not Amity or Abnegation. What if I don't get any faction? What if I'm destined to be factionless? Is that even possible? I was so lost in thought that I didn't even hear my name being called repeatedly.

A boy from Candor nudges me, finally pulling me back to reality. I stand up abruptly and follow the woman to the testing room. I was greeted by a Cando woman who smiled at me.

"Hello, I'm Alexandra and I will be testing you today." I responded with a quiet hello.

"Not a talker huh? I thought Amity were the social butterfliers, spreading your kindness everywhere. Oh well, come and take a seat kid." She patted the chair. Folding my hands in front of me, I quickly shuffle my feet and scooch onto the chair.

"Now, I don't exactly know what this liquid stuff is but you are required to take it. It does science stuff and helps the test see what faction you get. So, take a sip babes!" I down the blue liquid, my eyes blurring until they focus again.


	2. 2

The first thing I notice is Alexandra is gone. I’m alone in the room. I slide off the chair confused by the room being empty besides the chair I was just one. I look at the big mirror in front of me. My hair was falling out of its braid already, they never stay in, my hair has a mind of its own. I look to my left and see mirrors on that wall, my other side as well. I’m surrounded by an infinite number of mirrored ‘ME’s’, when I feel a tap on my shoulder. Spinning around I see a clone of me.  
  
“Choose” clone me spoke. Theirs eyes shifted to something next to me. There were two stands, one had a slab of meat on it and the other had a knife. I knew this couldn’t be good. “Before it’s too late.” Out of fear I grab the meat because its closest to me. Turning back around my clone was gone. There is growling besides me and I whip around to see a German Shepherd bearing his teeth and snapping his chops. Saliva sloshing everywhere.  
He begins running towards me but I quickly throw him the slab of meat. Shutting my eyes and tightening my body, bracing myself for the attacking dog, but all there is, is soft whimpering. The beast was now a puppy happily gnawing on the meat.  
  
“Puppy!” I hear a voice say. It was a young abnegation girl, she wants to pet the puppy. Turning back to the puppy, the meat slab is gone and the snarly beast is back. Charging at the girl, she runs away in fear. Instantly I run after them, leaping onto the dog, just able to get his hind legs, pulling him down.  
  
Standing up, I see I’m on a bus. Sitting near me is a man with a newspaper.  
  
“Excuse me, do you know this guy?” he asks referring to the front of the newspaper. ‘Brutal Murderer Finally Apprehended’.  
  
“No, I’m sorry, I don’t know him.”  
  
“Lier!” the man abruptly stands up from his seat, throwing the paper on the ground.  
  
“I’m not lying sir!” the man lunges at me, but thankfully I was quick enough to block myself from his attack. I felt like something was controlling my hand, because I subconsciously punch him in the face. The bus comes screeching to a halt. I fly forward, hitting my head on a pole, everything going black.  
  
Gasping for air I realize I’m out of the testing simulator. Placing my hand over my heart trying to calm my heart rate. Glancing at Alexandra, her body language seems different, tense.  
  
“Congrats! You got Abnegation.” She smiles. No that’s wrong!  
  
“You’re lying. Why are you lying to me?”  
  
“I’m Candor, I can’t lie.”  
  
“You can too.” She is getting annoyed with me.  
  
“Look kid, all I do here is power up the test, let it do its thing, make sure nothing goes wrong and then tell you your results, and log them down in the database. The test says you got Abnegation. You can choose whatever though. They advise against it, but it’s still your choice.” She opens the door ushering me out.  
  
Later that evening, I was eating with my parents and Takoda. Normally we all eat in the mess hall together but because it’s the last time some families will be eating all together they have us eat in our homes. Today gave me no answers to my questions, only more of them.  
  
“Mom…dad… were you guys born Amity?”  
  
“Your mother is Amity-born, I transferred.”  
  
“what faction were you born in?”  
  
“I was born in Dauntless, but left because I didn’t like what they do there.” I nodded my head slowly.  
  
“Were your parents upset with you when you left?” the table was quiet, no silverware scrapping the plates, no chewing, not even Takoda was making a noise.  
  
“They were yes, but you have nothing to worry about. We will love you no matter what you choose. We promise to even visit you on Visiting Day if you choose to leave.” He smiles reassuring me.  
  
“Do you want to talk about your test results?” my mother asked. Shaking my head, no, I get up bringing my plate to the kitchen. I wasn’t hungry anymore. I round the hall corner heading to my room when I stop myself to listen to what my parents were saying.  
  
“Oh Clyde, I worry about her too much.”  
  
“Relax Marta, everything will be okay!”  
  
“I know, it just makes me a little upset. Maybe I should speak to Johanna about this.”  
  
“Wait until after the Choosing Ceremony, she may not even transfer.” This just makes my decision even harder!


	3. 3

Today is the Choosing Ceremony and I still have no clue what I'm going to choose today. There is no way I'm Abnegation. I'm not Amity, I don't feel it...or Candor. The only other options were Erudite and Dauntless. I couldn't choose one of those could I? in the sim, I did choose meat and fed the dog, that had to be smart. I also jumped onto the dog to save the girl. That seemed very brave of me; if I did things like other factions did...then why did I get Abnegation? Oh man, I'm probably going to end up factionless.

I was again pulled from my thoughts when I heard Dauntless kids yelling with joy. I remembered that we left our house but I guess I was so busy in my own world that I didn't realize we made it all the way to the building held specifically for the Choosing Ceremony.

Entering, we were surrounded by hundreds of people. Looking out I saw all the Dauntless, wearing black, dark red, many had piercings and tattoos. If I were Dauntless, I would get those.

I walked by Candor and white with little lowlights of black, adding contrast to their clothing. They all functioned in an orderly fashion. Next was Erudite and their blues, they all had a sophisticated meaner to them. Amity's section was next. We all had different Earthy tones; yellows, burnt oranges, tan browns. All so joyous and happy. Abnegation all sat there in their grays. Trying to make themselves unnoticeable. Jokes on them, they were technically making themselves stand out more by being totally silent and still. Except for those Abnegations who were still pilling in.

We found seats for us, to my request ones that were lower to the floor. We waited for the Ceremony to start. My dad chatting with friends, my mother laughing with some woman who sat behind us while holding baby Takoda. Since almost everyone was at the Choosing Ceremony she didn't want to look for someone to watch him. I hope he is quiet during this. It would be humiliating if he were to interrupt the Ceremony. Everyone would be upset with us for not keeping a child under control and happy.

In the center stage, five bowls were placed. Each with a faction's symbol and an element that represents that faction. A shimmering silver knife was on a table nearby. We were to cut a bit of our palm and let a drop of our blood hit the objects in the bowl of the faction we choose. We were then supposed to sit with our new faction until the Ceremony was over. Then our new lives would start in our new faction.

When the Ceremony was ready to begin, everyone clapped as Erudite's head leader Jeanine Matthews stepped on stage. She then gave us some information on the faction system. Abnegations head leader, Marcus Eaton then approached the stage.

"Faction Before Blood" we all stated together.

He began calling out names for them to come up and choose a faction. A boy from Candor chose Amity. He was instantly welcomed and given a seat. His parents could be heard sobbing, as if their son was just offed in front of them. 'Caleb Prior' a boy from Abnegation, chose Erudite. 'Beatrice Prior' I assume his sister, was next. She looked like she was going to stay in Abnegation but chose Dauntless instead.

More name were being called until it got to me. I almost didn't hear him, 'Maeve Madore'. I slowly rose from my seat. My hands were shaking, no, my whole body was shaking. My previous thoughts came rushing back to me instantly. I'm going to disappoint everyone! I don't belong anywhere. I'm destined to be factionless. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I can't stay in Amity. I know I'm not Abnegation, my test had to be wrong! What faction am I??

"Dauntless!"

I hear Marcus Eaton yell along with a loud uproar from the Dauntless side. Wait what?? Looking down at my hands I realized what I did.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't realize that I made a straight beeline to Dauntless' bowl, grabbed the knife and sliced my hand right directly over the hot coals without any hesitation. Still confused, I almost took the knife with me, but quickly spun around setting the knife down. I walked fast to the Dauntless section still in the misunderstanding of how I blacked out and didn't realize I chose Dauntless. A man from Dauntless patted my back as I sat down next to the other new members.

After the Ceremony was over we were given a bandage for our hands. I glanced over to my parents. My dad nodded his head at me as if saying 'it's okay we aren't mad' he patted my mom's knee. She was bouncing Takoda in her arms, he was getting fussy probably. I followed the rest of the Dauntless members as they ran outside. I ran with them to the train station, feeling the wind blowing in my face, a big smile broke out on my face.

They started climbing the racks to get to the train tracks which was high off the ground. Hiking my dress up a bit I began my process of climbing. Helping my dad back in Amity involved climbing trees, so I didn't have that much of a problem with climbing up. I could catch my breath for a moment.

A train rounded the corner and it was coming fast. They were grabbing handles on the side, stepping on a small foot space and pulled themselves in. 'Seems easy enough right Maeve?' I thought to myself. Running along the side of the train, I quickly grabbed the handle pulling my feet up too so the momentum of the train wouldn't tear my limbs off. Struggling to pull myself in, I was grabbed by someone and pulled in.

"Thank you"

"Don't mention it, I'm Uriah."

"Maeve"

"It's nice to meet you Maeve. I got to say I was impressed watching you at the Choosing Ceremony. Once your name was called, you strutted up to the Dauntless bowl with a wicked look on your face."

"I-I wasn't smirking." I scoffed folding your arms and looking at your shoes.

"no no no" he laughed "you were definitely smirking. You had this look on your face that said 'b*tch you don't even know. I'm here to 'F' this sh*t up'". Others nearby who were paying attention nodded their head in agreement,

Another Dauntless-born next to him, whom I didn't know the name of added "don't disappoint us now".

Smiling politely and adding a fake giggle, I responded "hopefully I won't". I turned away looking at my shoes again. 'Don't disappoint us now'. Great, more people to please that I don't know how too. My head was filled with more worrisome thoughts.

"Get ready" someone yelled to everyone.

Get ready for what?


	4. 4

Uriah turns to me "we're jumping, so, just go when I go okay?" Jumping off a moving train shouldn't be too difficult, right? Grabbing me by the arm he pulls me back.

"Ready?" he asks rhetorically, "Let's Go!" he yells pulling me with. I push off with my right foot off the train, leaping over the huge gap from the train to the roof top. Uriah let go of my arm to stabilize his landing. My feet hit the roof-top, stumbling over on my side. I lay for a minute trying to catch my breath. Uriah panting as well, extends his arm to help pull me up; I accept the offer thanking him. I brush the dirt off me when I hear a loud voice.

"Alright listen up" the voice says while everyone makes their way crowding around him, I follow as well. "I'm Eric, I'm one of your leaders." He was standing on an edge. "You wanna enter Dauntless this is the way in. You don't have the guts to jump, then you don't belong in dauntless." He had two tattoos running up his neck, two eyebrow piercings on the right and large black earrings. The sides of his head were shaved and the top was gelled back.

"Is there water at the bottom or something?" an Erudite transfer asked. Scowling at the transfer, Eric cocked his head and replied with a smirk "Guess you'll find out...or not". A Candor transfer turned to an Abnegation transfer.

"We just jumped, they want us to jump again?" whispering to her.

"Well someone's gotta go first, who's it going to be?" Eric looked around at everyone. We looked at each other to see who was going to jump first. No one said anything until the Abnegation girl spoke.

"Me" she pushed her way through the crowd to the edge where Eric just stepped off, moving to the side. She peered over the edge and took her coat off.

"Yeah stiff take it off!" a Candor boy said getting people to laugh, "Put it back on" he trailed off. She stood on the ledge facing away from us.

"Today initiate" Eric was impatient and getting annoyed, she stepped off falling into the opening. Turning back to us, he asked who was next. One of the Dauntless-born decided to go, he screamed on his way down.

"Next?" back to no one wanting to volunteer.

"Maeve should go next" I perked up wide-eyed when I hear Uriah's voice. No! Why? Why me next? What could be down there?

"Which one of you is Maeve?" He curiously questioned. I slowly raise my hand until he sees me. He almost looks shocked to see me. It's not often that you see an Amity transferring to Dauntless.

I slowly make my way forward. I can't do this. I can't do this. There is no way I'm doing this. I stand on the ledge looking down. Crap, crap, crap! I turn to look at Eric, making a hand motion asking him to come closer to me. Taking a few strides forward he has a puzzled look.

"Can you pinky promise that this won't hurt?" everyone laughs except Eric and I. Eric looks pissed with me.

"I'm not f*ing pinky promising you. What I can do though is push you off this ledge."

"I will jump willingly but I just need you to pinky promise!" I thrust my pinky finger out in front of me. Rolling his eyes and swearing under his breath, he crosses his pinky finger with mine. I slowly breath out. Letting go of his pinky, I let myself fall backwards down into the mouth of Dauntless. The fall was quick and I was caught by a huge net. Once the net stopped bouncing me, I let out a laugh. Someone pulled the net and helped me off it.

"What's your name?" the man who helped me down asked; he had amazing dark brown eyes.

"Maeve."

"Third jumper, Maeve!" he yelled to those around, people cheering in response. "Welcome to Dauntless" he smiled. As I waited for the rest of the initiates, I was introduced to the first jumper, her name is Tris. When others started arriving I learnt some of their names.

"Dauntless-born go with Lauren. Transfers stay with me...go" when who I presumed was Lauren took the Dauntless-born the brown-eyed man started talking again. "Most of the time I work in intelligence, but during your training I will be your instructor. My name's Four." Four"

"Four like the number?" the Candor girl, whose name I learned was Christina asked.

"Exactly like the number" he informed.

Chucking, Christina asked "What happened, one through three were taken?" earning some giggles. Laughing to himself he asked her name. Nodding his head, he slowly approached her

"Well, Christina, the first lesson you learn from me...if you wanna survive here, is you keep your mouth shut. Do you understand me?" she quickly answered a 'yes'.

"Good." Walking away he instructed us to follow.


	5. 5

Four led us down a couple hallways and down a long spiraling staircase. Silence came to a halt when we reached the end of the hall and it opened to a giant room. Indistinct talking filled the large room with noise. The roof was high in the air covered by, bringing light into the building. We all glanced around taking it all in.

"This is The Pit. The center of life here at Dauntless." Four turned his attention back to us. It made sense to be called The Pit, because that is what it was. Literally a pit in the ground with stairs and pathways that branch off to places like food, clothing, supplies, and leisure activities.

"ill show you the Chasm next." He leads us to the right of the pit. I can see a railing up ahead. I then hear water, roaring, moving fast and crashing against rocks.

"the Chasm here helps remind us the fine line between bravery and idiocy. You jump, you die, no way for anyone to survive." Four continued leading us down another series of hallways until we entered our dormitories.

"You're gonna be sleeping here for the next ten weeks" walking into the room I noticed that there were many cots placed everywhere.

"Girls or boys?" a transfer asked.

"Both." Four answered getting a mix of responses back, "If you love this you're gonna love the bathroom." Four quietly chuckled. 'Please be single stalls with doors' I mentally crossed my fingers. There were none, no partitions to provide privacy. The showers had no doors on them either. A sick feeling rose in my stomach at the thought of taking a shower in front of everyone; not only that, but the fact of possibly being attacked while in such a vulnerable state. 'This will be fun'.

"You should feel right at home, Candor. Everything out in the open." Four addressed to Christina, leaving us but not before adding "Get changed".

I quickly walked to one of the cots in the far corner, deciding that this one would be mine. Under our cots, we had trunks. Opening them, we found to be clothes. Calling out the sizes in our trunks people began trading clothing so they would have something that would fit better.

"Hey" a soft voice spoke tapping my shoulder, "could we switch clothes? Mine don't fit me right and I think yours might work better." Nodding, we traded clothes and found that 'yes' it was a good idea to trade.

"I'm Natharia" she stuck her hand out to me. She transferred from Erudite, I could tell by her old clothes but also their custom handshake greeting. In Amity, we always greeted with firm embraces. I slowly reached my hand out to her, "you can call me Nat though!"

"I'm Maeve" we continued changing. My mind kept racing back to when I asked the leader Eric to pinky promise me. Pinky promise? A freakin pinky promise? What am I five? Not only did I embarrass myself, but Eric too. I made a Dauntless leader look like a fool in front of new initiates. I don't even know why my brain decided to ask him to 'pinky promise' me; the words literally flew out of my mouth and it's going to cost me.

After everyone was changed we were led to a large burning pit to throw our old factions clothes into. I ripped the collar of my Amity dress and the remnants away. I could quickly fold it around my wrist as a bracelet of sorts; I wanted a reminder of my family back in Amity.

We found our way into the mess hall. Loud talking and rock music filled the air. Many of the Dauntless members were eyeing us. Walking around I went to take a seat in an open spot when – "This table is for leaders only" I quickly spun around to see Eric behind me with an intense glare on his face.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't know." I apologized and went to walk away when his hand gripped my wrist tightly. I looked back to him with flight fear.

"What the h*ll is that?" he forcibly asked, motioning to my makeshift bracelet.

"I-I just wanted something to remember my family by." I spoke softly.

"Faction Before Blood initiate."

"I'm technically still Amity, right? I mean, I may be in Dauntless clothing but I'm not really a member until I complete initiation." Why? Why Maeve did I have to open my god*mn mouth? Eric's eyes narrowed, brows furrowed in anger. He was about to speak when my new hero came in to save this poor damsel in distress.

"Hey, Maeve! I got us a seat right here, come on!" It was Natharia! Oh, how I owe her my life. I look at her, and then back to Eric with pleading eyes; he released his grip on my wrist and I padded my way quickly to Nat.

"Thank you, thank you, Thank You!" I quietly praised her, sitting down next to her.

"No problem! I thought he was gonna eat you alive!" he exclaimed with laughter. I nervously laughed back, grabbing the food in front of me. I was awkwardly introduced to some of the people at my table that I didn't already meet; Peter, Molly, Will, and Al.

"Have you never seen a hamburger before?" Christina questioned someone. Looking over I realize she was talking about Tris who was trying to eat a hamburger with a fork and knife.

"No, I've seen one. I just have never eaten one." Tris looked at how others were eating theirs.

"Abnegation eat plain food. Plant-based diet with no sauces and a minimum of seasoning" the Erudite transfer Will informed. They went on bickering about factions and the whole 'my horse is bigger than your horse' brigade. Learning my lesson with Eric I decided to stay out of it. Luckily, I did because Four scolded them about it. He told them we 'were Dauntless now'. Nat hit my arm as a warning not to say anything to him. I resumed eating.

Alarms started blaring pulling me from my thoughts. I immediately perked up wondering what was going on. The other initiates wondering the same thing. Cups began clattering intensely against the table. The clanking continued until a man appeared above us looking down upon us.

"Initiates, stand." The man said, I'm pretty sure that's Max, the head leader of Dauntless. We all stood obediently. "You have chosen to join the warrior faction. Tasked with the defense of this city and all its inhabitants. We believe in ordinary acts of bravery and the courage that drives one person to stand up for another. Respect that. Do us proud." With that he walked away, everyone cheering and clapping.

Next thing you know, we are being lifted into the air. Passed around and praised for deciding to choose them. The rest of the day was spent laughing and getting to know each other. I'm not one for crowds so I didn't speak all that much, I still enjoyed it though.


	6. 6

I was rudely woken up by loud metal clanking. Followed by Four demanding us to head to the Pit; we had two minutes to get ready. It was surprisingly easy to pull myself out of bed, I didn't feel groggy at all. I couldn't say the same for the others, they looked like they were sleep walking.

We all then quickly made our way to the Pit, where we were met with Four and Eric. Eric was seated while Four began approaching us.

"There are two stages of training. The first is physical. Push your bodies to the breaking point and you'll master the methods of combat. The second is mental. Again, breaking point. You'll face your worst fears and conquer them unless they get you first. You'll be trained separately from the Dauntless-born, but you'll be ranked together. After initiation, rankings will determine what jobs you move into. Leadership, guarding the fence, or keeping the factionless from killing each other."

"the rankings will also determine who gets cut" Eric added to Four's information.

"Cut?" Christina asked the same thing I was thinking.

Getting up from his place, Eric slowly approached explaining. "At the end of each stage of training, the lowest ranking initiates will be leaving us."

"To do what?" Al questioned, I'm so glad everyone is wondering the same things that I am! I can get some answers this way.

"There's no going home to your families, so you'd live factionless." Eric shrugged as if it was obvious.

"Why didn't we know that?" Thank you Will!

"It's a new rule – A new rule? Somebody should have told us that." Christina exclaimed scoffing a bit. She shouldn't have interrupted Eric like that, it is not going to go well for her.

"Why? Would you have chosen differently? Out of fear? I mean, if that's the case, you might as well get out now. There's no 'pinky promises' that you will stay." He snipped obviously addressing me. I bowed my head and scrapped my shoes against the ground, wishing I could just disappear. I knew this would come back to haunt me. D*mn my anxious self!

"If you're really one of us, it won't matter to you that you might fail." He continued, pacing in front of us. "Now you chose us, now we get to choose you." He stared intensely.

We started with how to shoot a gun.

"What does firing a gun have to do with bravery?" Peter yawned. Swiftly, Four rips the gun out of Peter's hand and presses the barrel to his forehead, clicking the bullet into place.

"Well, to answer your question, it's because you are far less likely to soil your pants and cry for mommy if you know how to defend yourselves with a weapon. I do everything in my power not to burst out laughing at Four's comment. Four turns to face the targets on the wall. Standing with his feet apart, holding the gun with both his hands, he fires hitting right through the middle circle.

It was now our turn to practice; I did my best to copy Four. Feet shoulder-width apart, both hands wrapped around the handle. Inhaling...exhaling...I pull the trigger. The recoil hits my shoulder, it was such immense pain that I instantly dropped my weapon. I massage my shoulder with my hand, trying to hide my pain.

I can see someone approach me through my peripheral vision. I could tell it was Eric, just by the atmosphere that surrounds him. I look at him briefly but quickly look at the ground again, not wanting to see his stone-cold face.

"what the h*ll was that?"

"I-I'm sorry. I don't know."

"You don't know?" he paused, I shook my head no. "Well I can tell you what I know. You're weak and you can't shoot for sh*t."

"It was my first try" I tried to justify myself. I felt like I was a sad puppy being punished for eating their owners shoe. I felt so small and helpless, and I hate this feeling.

"You have a long way to go and only a few weeks to get better at it. Or I can 'pinky promise' you, that you won't make it past stage one." He leaned in close to me forcing me to peer into his intense gaze. His eyes were strikingly blue, and they held so much behind them. I had weird feeling in my chest, like my heart was pulling me to him for some reason; it wants to find out what is behind these eyes. With that Eric walks away.

I spend the rest of my time trying to hit the target but no luck has availed. Towards the end of training I was just able to hit the brink of the target. A smile broke out on my face in success. A small part of me wanted to know if Eric saw. Whipping around I tried to look for him but he was nowhere to be seen. I was slightly disappointed. I want to prove to Eric that I will make it into Dauntless.


	7. 7

We have been working our butts off these past two-ish weeks; switching it up between conditioning; like running, cardio, strength training to build some muscle; fighting techniques, guns, and knives. In the beginning Four had to assist me with my positioning. My shooting has improved but I'm not even close to being the best, I am much better with the knives for some unknown reason.

Eric hasn't been around at training that much; he's got leader stuff I guess; but when he is there, he does not give me a shortage or insults. No matter what I do, I don't seem to be good enough in his eyes. Four told us he would be here for training for the next three days; we are working on hand-to-hand combat. If he's here, it means h*ll has opened its gates to us, and Lucifer himself is walking out.

I was practicing blocking techniques with Nat; whom I have gotten close with; when Eric's loud voice filled the training room.

"First Jumper!" that was Tris, "in the ring; last jumper!" Molly. "Time to fight." Crowding around the ring, we watched the fight go down. The two stepped up to the ring. Tris was noticeably more frightened then Molly was.

"How long do we fight for?" Molly blankly questioned.

"Til' one of you can't continue."

"Or one of you concedes" Four stepped in.

"According to the old rules. New rules, no one concedes!"

Four turned to Eric speaking in a quiet voice. I wasn't close enough to hear them but I knew by Eric's face that he was not pleased.

"You'll be scored on this, so fight hard." Eric spoke loudly for us to hear. Tris and Molly get into a fighting stance, looking to Eric for confirmation. "Go" he snipped getting impatient

***

After they finished, Tris didn't win, more people were called up to the ring. I almost fully zoned out until I heard, "Pinky!" My head snapped up looking at him to see who he was talking too. It was me, he was looking directly at me. He slowly nodded his head to the mat. Making my way forward, I saw who I was going to fight, Peter.

"Don't take any of this personal okay Minnie Mouse?" he smirked. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I should not have chosen Dauntless! Why did I choose Dauntless?

My brain instantly forgets everything I have learned these previous weeks about fighting in hand-to-hand combat. Okay Maeve, try to remember.

'Closed fist, thumbs out of fists. Thumbs in fist equals broken thumbs. Broken thumbs bad, very bad.' Closing my fist, I remember to keep my thumbs out, I put my fists out in front of me to show I am ready. Peter immediately starts by punching me right in my left jaw.; wincing and stumbling back.

'Block Maeve, remember to block. Not too high, he can hit your stomach. Not too low, he can hit your face. Both of those are bad, very bad. Keep them in the middle of that.' Remembering this, I block his next coming attacks. 'This is going to get tiring and I won't get scored if I don't win. Alright brain, how do I win?

'Remember Maeve, study his movements. Study his movements and look for repetitions, repetitions mean he will do it again. Doing it again means you can figure out how to counter his movements and maneuver your way out if it. Fight where he goes wrong.'

I was too late. I wasn't focusing fast enough and he swept my feet from under me. Hitting the mat, the wind was knocked out of me. Gasping for air I tried to focus again, but didn't have enough time. He swung his leg over, straddling me. Grabbing the collar of my shirt, he yanked my head off the ground and connected his fist to my face.

***

I sat on a bench with a cold pack pressed to my busted lip. Tris was on the other side of the room with a cold back on her face. We both gave each other knowing looks. People began following Eric, I assume it has something to do with our ranks. I jogged after them, abandoning the cold pack.

"Alright guys, over here, listen up." A list of numbers was in front of us on a screen, half in a white the lower half in red. Names started appearing on the screen. "You know what this board is? It's your life. We grade you every day. If your still in the red by the end of the first stage, you're out." The 1st seventeen were safe, but the rest were in the danger zone. I'm 4th from the bottom. There is no way I can make it. There are so many other initiates who are way better than me. We were then dismissed for the day. There is no way around this, I thought. Everyone started disappearing into their friend groups.

I decided to walk by the Chasm on my own; stopping I wanted to fully take it all in. I was there for a while just thinking everything over in my head. Do I stay in Dauntless? Should I give up? I started lolling over any possible chance of me making past stage one of initiation.

"What are you doing?" I looked at who spoke when I saw Eric. I quickly turned away when I realized I had tears running down my face, quickly wiping them away with my sleeve, sniffling.

"Oh, nothing, just enjoying the view."

"You're lying, tell me the truth now initiate!" he demanded; getting up to face him, I begin to rant.

"I'm never going to make it! I can't do it. I'm not Dauntless. I've improved a lot since I got here, yet I'm still at the bottom of the rank! I just don't understand it. I just can't be Dauntless!"

"Then why did you choose Dauntless?"

"I don't know!" I whisper yell getting closer to him. "I don't even remember choosing Dauntless or why! I got Abnegation on my test Eric! Abnegation! I know we aren't supposed to tell anyone our results, but you're a leader and just needed to tell someone, so...You know what? Abnegation's bowl was right next to Dauntless, I probably meant to drip over Abnegation but accidently did it over Dauntless. There's no changing Eric! So, I'm stuck here and I have no clue what to do." I finish my pant glaring at him, huffing because I'm out of breath. What confused me was the blank look on his face.

"I know what- "he didn't finish his sentence. I felt a tight painful grip on my shoulder blade and my wrist. His heavy hand pushed me off the Chasm platform. I immediately gripped tightly to his arm that was keeping me from falling into the rushing rapids, to my death.

"Are you insane?" I shrieked to him, digging my nails into him as I try not to look down.

"Hey, you wanted an out didn't you? I'm just trying to help you. You have a choice to make, because you are wasting my time. You can either quit and become factionless, drop to your death, or survive initiation and join the faction that you chose." There is no way that I can be factionless, and dying isn't an option. Eric is right, I chose this faction, therefore I'm getting past initiation. There's probably a small, simple job here that I can take. I don't need a high rank, just one that will get me past.

If I don't want to be factionless, then I will do everything I can to make it. Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself a little.

"C-Can you put me back now?" I plead, avoiding his eyes. Listening, he brought me back to the platform. "I-I'm sorry about your arm. I will see you in training tomorrow." With that I took my leave.

A glorious idea came into my head and I made my way to the Pit. Finding a hair salon, I stopped in.

"Hello, I was wondering what the earliest appointment is?

"Quite early, I'm a morning bird and like to get started right away." The salon lady said.

"Perfect! I'm going through initiation, I want to get my hair cut but I want to surprise someone with it. So, I need it done in the morning or else they will see it tonight and ruin the surprise."

"Oh! Okay, trying to impress a boy?"

"Something like that." We set up a time that worked great! I must get to sleep early to wake up for tomorrow. I have decided that I'm not going to survive initiation, I'm going to conquer it!


	8. 8

I was about to leave the shops when I bumped into Nat and a group of other transfers.

"Maeve! There you are, where were you?" Nat questions.

"Oh nothing, just went for a walk."

"Yeah, Peter took quite a toll on you, didn't he?" I shrugged in response.

"It's all part of getting through initiation, right?" she nodded understandingly. "Where are you heading?"

"We are getting some tattoos, you should join!" I gladly accepted her offer. I spoke a little with Will and Al, them having to initiate the conversation first.

Entering the tattoo parlor, we were met with pierced and tatted faces, loud hip-hop music playing through the parlor. Splitting off from the rest of them, I searched for a design I wanted.

"Can I help you with anything?" I was startled, chuckling at my slight jump. I turned to face the mysteries person behind me. He was a giant, had to be way more than 6ft! How he was Dauntless, I don't know because his face looks like a puppy. Literally, a puppy.

"Oh I-I was just looking for a design. Can you free hand designs?"

"Yeah, I can do that for you; follow me!" the human puppy says leading me to a room with a drawing desk. Taking a seat, he asks me if I have an idea of what I want.

"S-sort of, I want some memorabilia of my old faction; t-to remember my old family in Amity." I hope he isn't like Eric and Four and totally despise you if you even utter a different factions name.

"Relax" he laughs "I understand, I transferred to here from Candor a couple years ago. I have a younger brother there. He actually chose his faction this year too, but decided to stay."

"So why are you here? No offense, but you don't exactly look Dauntless."

"I look more like a puppy?" Did he hear me call him that? "When I came to Dauntless, I changed my name to Puppy."

"On purpose?" making him laugh.

"Yes, I know I don't look intimidating. I got third in my initiation though, and I am Dauntless, but they didn't want a softy out there trying to be an authority figure...so I'm here. It's a good thing I'm quite the artist too."

"So, what was your name before you came here?"

"Oh, sorry blondie, we haven't reached that level of friendship yet. Ask me when you reach level ten of our friendship." He joked.

"Well, my name has always been Maeve, so, you can call me Maeve."

"Will do Blondie! So, tat ideas?"

"Oh yes! I was thinking a blossoming tree on my right wrist, for Amity. On my other wrist, fire, for Dauntless." Puppy took his time sketching before he showed me the final template. On the Dauntless side, he also added the word 'warrior' underneath the fire; and an arrow underneath the word. I had him make one change; turn the 'I' in warrior into a semi colon. He made the adjustments and set the equipment up.

He pressed the weird patched on my wrist and started the painful process. A couple of horrible minutes went by and he finally took them off. They look amazing!

"Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! This is amazing! You are incredible Puppy!" he laughed at my giddiness. Tattoos and piercings are apparently free in Dauntless because of the Dauntless 'aesthetic'; at least, that's what Puppy told me anyways. 

I found Tris sliding off a tattoo chair and showed her my tats. She got a tattoo on her collarbone. They were birds, three of them, she said they represent her three family members she left. 

I explained to her my Amity tattoo but not the truth about the warrior one; this one will stay between Eric and me. 'I just thought I would look cool'; she bought it. 

I told everyone that I was heading back to our dormitories. I should get to bed early so I can wake up for my appointment tomorrow morning.

'I'll show you Eric.'

***

If I'm late to initiation I would probably be immediately kicked out' I thought while barreling down the halls as fast as I could go. I made it to my hair appointment on time; it didn't take long to do, but the salon is far from the training room.

Approaching the door, I slowed down, calming my breathing so it didn't seem like I was running. Pulling the door open, I made my way in the room. Four and Eric were just about to get started when I joined the initiate group.

Eric was looking down at a clipboard so he hadn't noticed yet, but Four and the others noticed my hair. Oh, way to go Maeve! Should have though this out better but NO! You just had to go on a wild streak and shave half your head. Did I seriously think only Eric would notice? I seriously am regretting my decision because of all this attention; attention that I don't want.

"Any reason why you were almost late Pinky?" using that stupid name, he still hasn't looked up.

"N-No sir, just terrible time management on my part." He scoffed finally deciding to look up at me. It looked like he had to do a doubletake to confirm it was me. 'I didn't think I did anything too crazy? A little, but not a lot crazy.' I mean, I did shave off the hair on my left side, down to the skin; no hair on that half at all!

I'm sure he knew I ran here, obviously because my breathing pattern. Also, because my face is flush from running.

"So, you should have no problem starting the day off with running, right?" he smirked tauntingly. I returned the smirk and shook my head 'no'. "Good, everyone ten laps around the whole place for a warm up." he yelled; everyone quietly groaning and complaining under their breath.

'Thanks Satan' I mentally direct my thought to Eric.


	9. 9

We had fighting today for training. Making my way to one of the punching dummies, I threw my hair up into a ponytail. It felt weird since half of my hair is gone. I have received a good number of compliments on my hair and a few on my tattoos.

After a couple minutes of punching the bags, I felt a presence behind me. I knew it was Eric. He grabbed my wrist before it contacted the bag; he examined it. I had gotten rid of the makeshift bracelet and replaced it with the Amity tattoo; he examined the other wrist too.

“What’s with the semi colon?”

“In books, authors use it to keep a sentence going. They could have ended the sentence there but the kept it going. So, it just reminds me of what you did yesterday.”

“What do you mean by ‘what I did’ yesterday?”

“You gave me an Ultimatum; I could either die or live.”

“You could have become factionless.”

“That wasn’t an option for me. So, I had to choose; continue my story or just end it there.”

“and here you are” Eric graveled, nodding my head in response. I’m glad that he understood. “I like the hair, although it’s almost close to mine.”

“Oh, I’m sorry; didn’t realize you had a monopoly on that hairstyle along with anything else closely relative to it.” He folded his arms and looked at the ground, a small smile escaping through. I’d never tell anyone though. Its mine and his secret; I made the big bad Eric smile.

“Try to be on time from now on, or else I will punish you. Got it?” nodding, he walked toward the ring where Christina and Molly were fighting. Might as well go watch.

Christina kicks Molly in the side, making Molly gasp. Molly reacts quickly and throws Christina to the ground, slapping her. Pinning her to the ground, she is too heavy for Christina to shove off. Dragging one of her arms out, she punches Molly in the ear. Molly’s balance is knocked off and Christina wiggles free.

“Stop…stop” Christina coughs out, trying to crawl away from her opponent. Her face smeared with blood from her nose; lip busted as well.

“You need to stop?” Eric questioned. Christina panting, nods her head, wheezing while trying to catch her breath. “Okay” he paused “let me give you a hand.” He extended his arm toward her. Christina graciously accepted his help of pulling her too her feet.

“Thanks” she spoke quietly.

“Alright lets everyone take a break!” Eric yelled. Something was off, I could feel it. Everyone followed him out of the training room. Christina walked behind him; I was two people behind her. Looking through the spaces between the people in front, I noticed Eric putting his arm on her back.

Thoughts filled my head as we neared the Chasm. Whatever happened to no conceding?

“You feeling a little better?” he asked sounding concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine” she assured quietly.

With a swift move, Eric shoved her feet of the side. Grabbing he left hand with his right; hanging onto the rail with his left. Christina let out a loud shriek, people gasping at the event taking place. It wasn’t that shocking to me, considering I have hung off the same place.

“Grab the rail.” Eric instructed “Or don’t.” Obeying, she grunted as she grabbed the railing. “You’ve got three options. Hang there and ill forget your cowardice. Fall and die. Or give up…but if you give up you’re out.” Eric giving her the same options as he did me. At least Christina can hang onto the bar, I could only hang on by digging my nails into his arms.

Water dripped from the ceiling onto the rail, making it more difficult for her; Christina grunting in pain.

“Come on Chris” Tris urged her, getting a glare from Eric. His gaze shifted to mine briefly. Probably to read my emotions on the situation.

Smirking, I turned my wrist over and glanced at the semi colon tattoo; silently reminding him of the meaning and letting him know I was serious about staying.

Christina groaned some more, the metal creaking, she was struggling. Eric looked slightly bored now.

“Time” he shouted, moving out of the way so others could help pull her up. “Dauntless never give up.” sneering. We were dismissed from training for the rest of the day. Everyone quickly fled from the Chasm. I was the last initiate there, just Eric and me. I was trying to hide a small laugh and I made my way past him.

“What’s so funny pinky?” he stopped me.

“Oh, nothing, just uh…here I was thinking I was special. It just turns out that you just like to hang everyone off the Chasm. I think you were going soft on her though.”

Eric scoffs, stepping closer to me. “you think I was going soft on her?” he pointed to himself.

Nodding, I explained “yeah, I mean, you let her grab onto the edge. Whereas, I could only hang onto your forearm.” I pointed out his arm, which had claw marks on them. “So yeah, you were going soft of her.”

“Maybe I like her?”

“It’s a possibility, but I don’t think that’s it.” I smirk walking away.


	10. 10

A week has gone by already. Training has gone by so fast. The end of phase one is just around the corner. I’m above the line, so if I don’t screw anything up, I’ll make it to the second stage.

Today we are working on knife throwing. We did it in week two for about three days before we moved on to other things. They must go over it again though so we can perfect it. I was pretty good at it along with Tris and a few others, we were naturals. Others, were not; Al still has not been able to stick a knife even close to the board.

Eric was getting pissed.

Al was standing in-between Tris and I. Al threw the knife and it clanked as it hit the ground, nowhere near the target.

“That was pathetic.” Eric appeared behind him.

“It slipped.” Al scoffed; that was a mistake. Trying to keep to myself, I concentrated on throwing my knives.

“Well, go get it!” Eric yelled, obviously annoyed.

“What, while they’re throwing?” yes you idiot, just do it!

“Are you afraid?”

“Of getting stabbed by an airborne knife? Yeah.”

“Everybody stop.” Eric was beyond pissed. The room quieted as no one made a noise. “Stand in front of the target.” Al obliged, gulping, and made his way to stand in front of the target. “Four, gimme a hand here.” Four stood from where he was seated.

“You’re gonna stand there while he throws those knives. And if I see you flinch, you’re out.” This is just ridiculous, I thought shifting my weight to a more comfortable stance. Not a huge fan of Eric’s discipline strategies.

“One thing you will learn here is that orders are not optional.” Four walked to the table with knives, picking a few up. He approached the space between Tris and I, where Al used to be standing.

Readying his throwing stance, Tris stopped him before he could throw.

“Anyone can stand in front of a target. It doesn’t prove anything.”

“Then it should be easy for you to take his place.” Eric challenged her. Tris traded places with Al.

“Same rules apply.”

Tris slowly let out her breath as she looked at Four standing a distance in front of her. Four whipped a knife, landing it near her right hip; no flinch.

“Oh, come on, Four.” Eric taunted. Another was thrown, landing the left side of her head; no flinch. “You can get closer than that.”

“You want me to give her a little trim?”

“Yeah, maybe just a little off the top.” Four threw one just above her head, quickly throwing the last one on the right side of her head; no flinch. She pulled her head forward and brought her hand to her ear. The knife had just nicked it, drawing a little blood.

“Points for bravery, stiff. Not as many as you just lost for opening your mouth…Now watch yourself. We train soldiers, not rebels…but we’re done for today. Get out.” I could not get out of there any faster. I took the way past the Chasm, many still not wanting to go that way because of previous events.

“You seemed a little eager to leave.” Eric. I stopped midway through the bridge. “Afraid to lose your little friends Pinky?”

“That is not my problem” I snapped, coming closer to him. “My problem is your stupid discipline strategies.”

“Stupid discipline strategies?” he questioned, folding his arms and looking pissed.

“Yes, forcing someone to not flinch? It’s stupid. Flinching is your body and mind preparing to defend itself. Isn’t that what you taught us for fighting? Using our bodies to block coming attacks. Without ‘flinching’, you’re just being stupid and reckless.”

“You might want to choose what you do next very carefully.” Eric growled coming closer.

“Or what?” I laugh “You’ll hang me off the side of the Chasm? Oh, wait, you’ve done that already. You’ll make me be reckless and stupid by standing me in front of a target while you throw knives? Or better yet…just go ahead and kick me out? Well, fine, do it…kick me out. I don’t want to stay in a faction where all the leaders do is bully people into submission because their feelings got hurt or for the fact that they think that they have the biggest d*ck here.

So, either kick me out or stick it back in your pants.” I begin to walk away when he barks my name, grabs my arm and spins me around to face him. Glaring, I’m about to protest when I feel lips connect with mine. Electricity running through my veins, sparking something inside me. I close my eyes, wrap my arms around his neck and kiss back. His free hand grabs my hips, pulling me closer.

Pulling apart for air, I come to my senses and realize what just happened. The look on his face told me he just realized too. We let go of each other and put distance between us.

“we can’t do this again” he starts.

“Agreed”

“I’m a leader”

“And I’m an initiate.”

“right…right”

“No one can know either.”

“Yes, I agree”

“they might start thinking that I’m sleeping with you to pass initiation.” I try to laugh it off.

“Yeah, no, I don’t want people thinking I slept with you.” Oh, ouch, that stung a little.

“I’m gonna go now” I awkwardly say.

“Yeah you should” that hurt a little too. Turning around, I speed walk away.

Am I really that repulsive looking that he wouldn’t sleep with me? Of course not, he wouldn’t kiss me if thought me repulsive. I continued to debate with myself as I continued walking. I was so lost in thought that I didn’t realize I was standing in front of the tattoo parlor.

Might as well, I thought. Walking in, I look for Puppy, who has just finished giving someone some ink.

“Hey blondie! Haven’t seen you in a while. Here for ink?”

“Yeah, what kind of flower tattoos you got?” he showed me some of his pre-made designs. Deciding to go with some flowers across my left shoulder.

Thanking and hugging Puppy, I made my way back to the dormitories; showing them the tattoo if they asked where I’ve been. That way, no one will get suspicious.

I went to bed smiling about our little moment on the Chasm bridge; I will enjoy the memory forever, even if it is the last.


	11. 11

Week five is almost already over. D*mn, time flies when Eric is blatantly avoiding you. We are now on the last days of fighting. Tomorrow is our last day of stage one in training; finding out who stays and who goes.

Eric calls Peter and Tris to the ring. Peter is quickly in the ring ready to take her down.

“you okay there, Stiff?” he taunts her “You look like you’re about to cry. I might go easy on you if you cry.” Tris tried to kick him, but Peter grabbed her foot, yanking it, making her lose her balance.

“Stop playing with her,” snaps Eric. “I don’t have all day.”

Not playing around anymore, Peter takes a jab at her face, and kicks her in the stomach. Repeating his moves, Tris is in too much pain to see the repetitiveness though. With a final blow, she is out.

After Tris is taken to the infirmary, Eric calls my name and one of the transfers, Andre.

Once my foot steps into the ring, he hits me with is right hook.

Regain your balance Maeve. Don’t go on the ground. Ground means he can kick your head, that bad.

Putting my fists up, I’m able to block his next throw. Kicking his shin to stumble him, putting distance between each other.

Andre lunges for me, sidestepping out of the way. I didn’t react quick enough. Pounding the right side of my face.

The surprise blow knocked the air out of my lungs. A metallic taste comes into my mouth. Bringing my hand to my face and pulling away at the sting, I see blood on my hands.

I’ve had enough!

Swiftly kicking him in his side, he lowers his hands.

Big mistake Andre.

Jumping up as high as I could, I kick my foot forward. Connecting my heel with his chin.

Red, that’s all I can see…is red.

A roar rips through my throat as I dive for his mid-section, sending him into the ground. Pulling him up, another roar grumbles out, kneeing him in the gut repeatedly.

I am sick of everyone not taking me seriously. I am sick of worrying if I’m disappointing everyone.

Driving him into the nearest pillar, I pummel him with my free hand.

I am sick of people thinking that I’m not worthy.

I am worthy.

I am Dauntless!

Stopping with a final blow to his face, his unconscious body limp, and falls to the ground.

No longer seeing red. I turn to look at everyone who was watching. A feeling erupted in my stomach. What is this feeling?

That feeling was apparently this morning’s breakfast; which is now on the floor.

Clutching my stomach, I wipe my mouth off with my free hand.

Then I begin to fall. I felt like I was falling in slow-motion. I could feel gravity pulling me towards the ground. I felt the air, slowly leaving my lungs. Blinking slowly, I slip out of consciousness.

***

Slowly opening my eyes, I begin looking around at my surroundings. I remember falling, then brief, blurry images of what looked like Eric.

Eric, saying my name, not the nickname that he usually calls me, but my actual name.

Eric, picking my limp body off the ground.

Eric, quickly making his way through the hallways.

Eric, talking to a nurse, looking…worried?

A nurse? The infirmary! Eric brought me to the infirmary after I fainted.

I look over next to me and see Tris, unconscious and on a bed.

“Oh, good. You’re alive.” Eric was standing in the doorway, making his way to me, arms folded in front of him.

“How long have I been out?”

“About a day.”

“I’m not being kicked out, am I?” he cocks his head puzzled.

“Why would you be kicked out? You won your match. We have something planned for your last day of stage 1 if you’re feeling up for it.”

“Andre?” I quietly ask, gulping.

“He’s in Erudite. They have better doctors there. He’s alive, but seriously injured.”

‘At least he’s alive’ I thought to myself. Thankful that I didn’t murder someone.

Climbing off the bed, we awkwardly walked silently together to the dormitories.

“I was very impressed with your fight the other day.” Slowly, I nodded in response.

“The janitors weren’t impressed though.” Peering up at his face, he was smiling in amusement.

Stopping in my tracks, I gasp “oh my god. I totally forgot that happened! That’s so embarrassing!” I rub my temples, grumbling under my breath and the embarrassing moment; we continued walking.

“Please, no one is going to remember you throwing up. What they are going to remember is you literally tackling the guy, and beating the sh*t out of him!” Eric laughed, stopping when we get close to the dormitories.

“There’s a vest for you in there. Suit up, wait with the others until we are ready to go.” He began walking away leaving me dazed and confused.

“Go where?” looking back at me, he smirked, saying nothing. Turning around and walking off again.

Leaving me wondering, what does he have planned?


	12. 12

Eric came to get us and lead us to a train which immediately started moving. Turning my head, I saw Four pulling Tris into the train car; she almost missed it and probably would have been kicked out of Dauntless if she did.

Christina and Will greeted her wondering what she was doing.

“I just figured that I had to make it.”

“Who let you out?” Eric butted in.

“I did” Tris responded blankly.

“You did?” he was pissed, Eric turned his head to me, shrugging my shoulders, ‘girls got guts, let her stay’. An awkward silence fell upon everyone nearby before Eric let out a ‘okay’, walking away.

After a couple of more awkward minutes, Four speaks up, dropping some duffel bags onto the floor.

“The game’s simple. It’s like Capture the Flag.”

Eric opened one of the bags, pulling out a weird shaped gun, “Weapon of choice.”

“You call that a gun?” Molly scoffed. Loading the weapon up, Eric pulled the trigger, hitting her leg. Molly groaned in pain, falling backwards and onto the ground.

“Nero-stim dart.” Eric pulled it out of her leg. “Simulates the pain of a real gunshot wound. Only lasts a couple of minutes. Two teams Four and I are captains.”

“You pick first.” Four offered.

“Okay…Edward.”

“I’ll take the Stiff.”

“Oh, picking the weak ones so you got someone to blame when you lose.”

“Something like that.”

Eric picked Peter next, and Four shocked both Eric and I when he picked me. They finished picking members and we jumped off the train in different spots.

“Where did Eric’s team go?” Christina asked.

“They must have gone to the end.” Will responded.

Pulling out our bright orange flag, Four told us to turn out lights off. We started discussing strategies. I don’t really care what we do, I just want to be up high! Being from Amity, I was practically born in the trees.

Four and Tris located Eric’s teams flag from the top of the Farris Wheel. Discussing our positions, we made a break for it. Instantly, I clamber up a tree, leaping from branch to branch, eyeing my team mates from the ground.

Noticing a group of Eric’s teams trying to locate our flag, I begin to stalk from above, taking them out one-by-one.

Climbing my way back to see how my team was doing, I see they were pretty even, firing back and forth. Getting in a good position, I located the group that were going in on the side to retrieve the flag. I was their sky assist, hitting targets that were a long distance away.

A rustling on the ground appeared close by. Looking closely, I could recognize that it was Eric. As quietly as I could, I followed him, climbing lower to the ground.

I was so close to being able to shoot him when the branch snapped, sending me tumbling down. I forgot I gained some weight with these new muscles of mine.

I dodged out of the way of his stim dart, hiding in a bush, crawling around so he didn’t see where I was.

“Come out, come out, whoever you are!” he sang.

Jumping up from my current hiding spot, I shout “Hey”, getting Eric’s attention. Hitting him in the chest with a stim-dart, he groans in pain, ripping the dart from his chest. Grabbing the nearest tree, I hoisted myself up only to be pulled down and shoved against the tree.

“You’re going to pay for that Maeve.” He growled through gritted teeth.

“You pinky promise?” smirking playfully.

“Stop that!”

“Stop what?”

“Doing that thing with your face when you’re all giddy. It’s making me nauseous.”

“My face makes you nauseous?” I fake gasp, sounding slightly offended.

“Yes, when you smirk like that? It makes my stomach feel weird.”

I had to laugh a little, I didn’t know what else to do.

We heard cheering and whooping in the distance. Eric lets me go, knowing a team won. Running back to where everyone was, I see Nat holding Eric’s teams flag on top of the tower.

“Yes, Nat! Way to go gurl!” I yell, running to her. Making my way up to her, I started singing loudly. “We Are The Champions, My Friend!”

“And we’ll keep on fighting, Til the end!” Nat joins in on my rendition of Queen.

“We are the Champions. We Are The Champions!” we yelled at the top of the tower; our other teammates joining in now.

“No time for losers!” Making an ‘L’ shape on my forehead, directing it to Eric specifically. I might be crazy, but I swear I think I saw Eric smiling again.

“Cause we are the Champions…OF THE WORLD!!” we yell hooting and hollering, all the way back to the compound.

Politely declining an invite to a party I make my way back to the dormitories; climbing trees is tiring. I just wanna sleep!

About to head into the dormitories, Eric’s voice stopped me.

“That was quite something back there.” He laughed.

“Which part? My amazing sniper skills? Me shooting you? Or my lovely rendition of Queen’s ‘We Are The Champions’?” I giggle putting an ‘L’ on my forehead; mouthing the words.

A smile on his face, and laughing in amusement, he grabbed both of my hands.

“I kind of just liked you in general.”

“What?” I asked, when his lips met mine. It was a soft kiss. Kissing back, I enjoyed the h*ck out of it. Pulling away, he rested his forehead against mine.

“Goodnight Pinky” he whispered, planting a kiss on my forehead and sauntering away.

I went to bed that night confused as h*ll but smiling like a madman.

Wait, Does Eric like me?!?!


	13. 13

“If you’re ranked above the red line, you’ll move on to the second stage of training. If you’re below it, we’ll waste no more time on you.” Max stalks us from above. “Here are your rankings.” Above the line please! Please be above the line!

We all were looking at the screen in front of us with anticipation. Names began appearing on the board. Seeing my name on the board I gasp. Tenth! I got tenth! I can’t believe it! I’m moving on to stage two! Looking for Nat’s name, I see it in fifteenth! Someone leaped on my back, it was Nat.

“We did it M&M! I can’t believe it. We move on!” She squeals in my ear before going and cheering with others. While most were cheering, there were some who were sobbing grossly. If you weren’t in the top twenty-one…you were now factionless. I’m just glad that I’m not one of them.

***

After all the new factionless people left, it was now Visiting Day. I’m hoping my family will be here today, I miss them dearly.

“Attention.” Eric announces to us remaining in initiation. “I’m going to give you some advice about Visiting Day. If by some chance, some of your families do come, just remember; Faction Before Blood. Don’t seem too attached to them, it would be shameful and suggest that you aren’t pleased entirely with this faction. We wouldn’t want that would we?” the threat of cruel punishment lingers in his words.

“You’re here to become Dauntless, so act accordingly.” With that we leave our dormitories and make our way to the pit. My heart thumping wildly in my chest as I look for my parents.

A baby squeals with joy loudly, it was a happy squeal. I knew who it belonged too. Turning to the direction of the sound, Takoda has spotted me through the crowd somehow.

Takoda squirms, freeing himself from my dad’s arms. Running past Eric, I kneel on the ground to meet my baby brother. Wrapping him in my arms, I give him a big squeeze.

“Oh, my little Koda! I’ve missed you so much!” Takoda just repeats the word ‘MaeMae’ over and over. IT’s how he says my name. Standing up, I’m greeted by a kiss on the forehead by my dad.

“Hi dad!”

“You look so grown! Oh, my little girl, look how strong you are!” he steps back and looks me over. Tears on the brinks of his eyes, which he quickly wipes away.

“Dad, where’s mom?”

“Y-your mom, didn’t want to come” was all he said, sighing. I knew why she didn’t come. She was disappointed in me. She wanted me to choose either Amity or Abnegation, and I chose the one that is nowhere even close to those options.

“So, you’ve had the Dauntless Cake yes?” he asks changing the subject.

“Of course I have dad! It’s amazing!”

“That’s one thing I miss about Dauntless, the cake!” dad laughs.

“Would you like some?” I spun around seeing Eric behind me, looking at my dad.

“Sorry?”

“I’m Eric, one of Dauntless’ leaders.” Eric extends his hand to my dad. “You’re Maeve’s father?” he asks.

“Yes, I am” my dad answers shaking Eric’s hand. “Wow! I don’t remember Dauntless leaders being so young!” they both laugh. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Eric is meeting my dad.

“Thank you, sir! Now, who is this little guy?” he turns his attention to the baby in my arms.

“This is my baby brother Takoda!” I exclaimed. Takoda reached out to him wanting Eric to hold him; Eric gladly took him from my arms.

“If you want to follow me, we can head to the kitchen and find some of that cake.” Eric leads us. On the way to the kitchen, Eric talks to Takoda whose still in his arms.

“So, you going to join Dauntless too?” Takoda babbles in response. “Hopefully I’m dead by then. I think handling one Madore is enough!” I turn glaring at him, Eric winks at me playfully.

Eric continues to talk with Takoda on our way. There is something humorous about seeing a very large, intimidating man, talking so kindly to a baby. Takoda is thoroughly confused by the two large black studs on his face.

Sitting down in the kitchen, dad asks me about my tattoos. I begin telling him about my tattoos, showing them off proudly.

Dad waits til Eric goes to grab cake before he asks me about the semicolon tattoo.

“What about it?”

“I know the meaning behind it Maeve. Are you doing okay? You made it past stage one of training, what was your rank.”

“Dad, I’m okay. I’m ranked in tenth right now. I just…had some doubts, but I think those are gone.” Dad sits back in his chair nodding his head. “How’d you do in the games?”

“You know about the games?”

“Yes, of course I did. Your grandfather would train the initiates and always told me about how fun they were.” Dad didn’t speak about his parents very much, they weren’t happy with him transferring out of Dauntless; they had passed away a couple years ago.

“well, I won…the game by the way. My team did.”

“Really? You won?”

“Yeah, I um…sniped everyone.”

“You sniped everyone?” A laugh was heard from the kitchen, Eric came walking back in balancing Takoda and three plates with him.

“She did yes, people were just falling left and right. She was hiding in the trees and just taking them out.” He sat down and handed out slices of cake.

“See Maeve, told you that working in the field with me would help you later in life…. you’re welcome.” We all laugh. “I have a tattoo.” My dad confessed, shocking me.

“Dad, how do you have a tattoo?”

“I got it a couple days before my test. A group of friends and I snuck into the parlor when we were young. We figured out how to work the equipment and did it. Look!” he lifts up his shirt, showing a massive tree sprouting on his right side. Eric and I were both shocked at the tattoo. The amount of detail that took place on that thing was incredible.

“Where is the person that did the tattoo?” I asked wanting to know if I could somehow get a tattoo from them.

“He transferred out to Candor, but his son is here in Dauntless. Completed that a couple years ago. I heard he does tattoos. He’s got quite a unique name I heard.”

“Puppy?” both Eric and I asked at the same time. We turned, looking at each other.

“Yeah! That’s it!”

“He’s done all of my tattoos.” I said. Eric apparently got his neck ones done by Puppy.”

***

It was the end of Visiting Day. I was saying goodbye to Dad and Takoda; Eric still by me. He had spent the whole day with us. Just talking about childhood stories and initiation and other things.

Before my dad left, he kissed my cheek “be kind” he told me; kissing my other cheek he told me “be brave”. With that, he walked away, a sleeping Takoda in his arms.

After a moment of silence, Eric finally spoke.

“I understand now.” Cocking my head in confusion, he continued. “I understand why you wanted to remember your old faction. I never could, until now.” We stop just at the end of the empty Chasm. “Remembering your family doesn’t hold you back. Maeve, you thrive when you’re surrounded by the people you care for the most”

Looking in his eyes, I can see the sincerity and truth of what he is saying. My heart is tugging at me, so many emotions run through me at once; it makes me want to cry.

Without thinking, I shove him against the wall. A wave of shock rolls through him as I attack his lips with mine.

Kissing back with more force, he cups my face with his hands. Tongues, slipping by each other’s, deepening our kiss. My nails dig into his shoulders, causing him to growl. The riveting vibrations send chills down my spine and spread throughout my body.

Both of us breaking away, panting like dogs, trying to gain our breath back. Leaning his forehead on mine, he lets out a low chuckle, hands still on the side of my face.

“Thank you for being so kind to my family” I whisper, lightly biting his bottom lip.

“Thank you for letting me join you Pinky.” He whispers back, pulling me into a closer embrace. We stand there for a while, just breathing each other in.

Finally letting go, he bids me goodnight and leaves, but not before pecking my lips. Walking to the dormitories, I turn to look at him walking away, to see him doing the same.

We both bow our heads in embarrassment of getting caught by the other; continuing our paths.

Climbing into my bed, I reminisce on the events of today.

I let out a quiet, happy little squeak.


	14. 14

Waiting for our stage two training consisted of us sitting in a dimly lit room; The Dauntless-born trying to pick a fight with some transfers. Thankfully they were only interested in the top five of the transfers, so they left Nat and me alone.

Uriah and his friends from the train said hello to me. They were glad and impressed that I’m doing this well for a ‘banjo’.

The number of initiates in the room depleted as the minutes passed by. Stage two training takes forever. I’ve been here since eight in the morning, I was dismissed quickly to grab breakfast and then lunch.

Four comes through the double-doors calling my name after two Dauntless members drag an initiate out of the testing room; she was petrified and very pale, like she saw a ghost.

The testing room looks like the testing room in school for the Aptitude Test. Four beckons me to sit.

“Ever heard the phrase 'face your fears’?” he asks continuing when I nod my head 'yes’. “Well, here we’re taking it literally. I’m going to inject you with a serum that stimulates the part of your brain that processes fear.” Sitting back, Four begins to reset the equipment from the previous test.

“It induces a hallucination, and then transmitters in the serum allow me to see the images in your mind.”

“Creepy” this man is now going to witness my greatest fears? How lovely.

Four injects the serum into my neck, wincing in slight pain.

“Now, you’re going to be facing your worst fears. Most people have about 10 to 15 bad fears. To pass the fear, you have to calm yourself. Slow your heart-rate and your breathing, and deal with what’s in front of you.” Got it…slow my breathing so I can focus on getting past my fear.

“Be brave.” That’s the last thing I hear before I’m submitted to the darkness.

***

I’m in a glass box; it’s just big enough for me to turn around in.

I try to find something outside of the glass, but there’s nothing. It’s all pitch-black outside of the box I’m trapped in. The only light, is the spotlight directly above me.

I kept ransacking my mind for what fear this could be. I didn’t have to wonder anymore, because I felt a tickle on my leg.

Looking down at my leg, I see a hairy tarantula creeping its way up my body. My heart starts beating faster; quickly shaking it off my leg only for more to appear, and start climbing my skin.

More bugs appear, roaches, moths, different varieties all in this tiny box.

I scream as I shake crazily, trying to get them off me.

Maeve, stop! This isn’t real. Remember? 

Okay, let’s think our way through.

Biting my lip to muffle a whimper that’s threatening to escape, a spider is now on my mid-section.

Placing both hands on the glass, I give it a hard push, grunting in pain at the intensity.

Come on Maeve!

I give one final heave, and the glass wall shatters, falling through it and onto the ground, everything goes black.

***

Gasping for air, I am out of the sim. Beads of sweat forming on my forehead.

Four has a sour look on his face as he types on the computer.

“Maeve, how long do you think you were in the simulation?”

“It felt like an hour or more.”

“Try five minutes.”

“You’re lying to me Four.” I shook my head.

“Why would I lie about your time?”

“Probably for the same reasons that the Candor who did my aptitude test lied to me.”

“What?” Four cocked his head in confusion.

“She told me I was Abnegation, but I know for a fact that it’s not the truth. I know that she was lying to me. Why a Candor would lie though? I don’t know.” I was beyond pissed, I’m sick of these lies!

“Maeve, you got five minutes for your time. How? I don’t know, but the quicker your time, the better the rankings. You’re dismissed, you have the rest of today off.” With that, I leave the testing room. I find myself wandering around the Pit, only to end up at the tattoo parlor, again.

This seems to be my brain’s go too place; walking in to find Puppy, as usual.

“Blondie!”

“Puppy!”

“New tat?”

"Yeah, but I don’t know what I want though.”

“I’m glad you said that. I’ve been sketching something I thought you’d like.” He hands me a sheet of paper that has a gun on it, but the gun is made of flowers.

“Oh! Puppy, I love it!” Puppy smiles before being ushered away by someone who had a question. 

I glance down at the beautiful sketch in my hand.

“Pretty.” I’ve grown accustomed to hearing that voice appear behind me; I spin around to face Eric.

“Yeah, I think I’m going to get it. I just don’t know where.” I admit.

“Hmm.” Eric ponders, circling me. I feel almost like prey being stalked by its predator. “Here.” He says placing his hand on my left hip. 

“I think it would look great here.” Eric slips his hand under my shirt and rubs his thumb on my side. Too shocked to say anything, I just stand there like an idiot. My cheeks blushing a deep red. Although this place is dimly-lit, I’m pretty sure he could see the blush on my face.

With a half-smile, he removes his hand from my side and begins to walk away.

Turning to see him go, I notice a tattoo on the back of his neck that was just freshly put there.

It’s a semi colon.


	15. 15

Today is the fourth day with the fear sims. Four was right, the fears got worse. I’ve dealt with bugs, tripping down stairs in front of important people, and losing someone I loved.

That was the worst one yet. Seeing my little brother being murdered in front of me, brings me nightmares.

A routine is starting to take place in initiation. Everyone tiredly gets up and quietly eats. Everyone shuffles into the plain waiting room. Waiting for each of us to be dragged into our own personal h*ll. The routine continues with everyone saying what they went through to their friends in hushed voices.

Nat and I agreed to not talk about our sims. We both just wanted to do it and get it over with so we can become official Dauntless members.

A Dauntless-born quit, she couldn’t handle it. She’d rather be factionless. Not me, I’m going to be Dauntless no matter what the cost.

Four called me in and I prepared for what might be the worst.

***

I’m in Dauntless. It’s deserted, dark, with only a couple dim red-lit lights.

Wandering around the pit, I try to make sense of my fear sim.

Walking into the mess hall, music is being played softly. It was creepy music, like someone was winding one of those old pre-war music boxes.

Sitting in the middle of the leaders table, was in fact a music box.

Confused, I approach it, picking it up and examining it. A little dancer was spinning around as the music played. There were little carvings in the wood of flowers and leaves, covering the corners.

Taking the lid of the box, and closing it slowly; the music instantly stopping. Silence fills the room, something isn’t right.

Slowly backing up, my back collides with something that wasn’t there before. Spinning around, and stumbling back, a shriek escapes my throat.

It wasn’t awkward and lanky. No, it was big and muscular. Biceps flexing every time he heaves up and down; veins pulsing through its massive body.

The music box falls from my grasp, scrambling away, I keep my eyes on it. The clown just stood there, heaving as it watched me with its blood-red eyes.

Spreading its face into a wide cheshire grin, the clown lets out a maniacal cartoon laugh. Not wanting to stay here any longer, I make a break for the exit. The floor rumbling and booming like thunder lets me know that it is following me.

‘Don’t slow down Maeve! Keep going!’

Running past The Chasm, my brain briefly considers hurling myself over the edge. Not slowing down, spelunking is out of the question now I guess.

The clown was gaining on me, my body tiring out.

‘Think Maeve, think! How can I get out of this?’

Slowing down my heart-rate was out of question.

Quickly glancing over my shoulder to see how much distance is between the clown and me. There wouldn’t be enough time to stop running to slow my breathing. I must think of something else; looking over my shoulder to check the distance between us, he’s getting closer.

‘D*mn, why couldn’t I be afraid of something else.’ Starting to think of other ways to get rid of the sim.

‘Honestly, I’d rather be running from Eric right now.’

Then the thunderous booming stopped. Turning to glance quickly, the clown is no longer running after me, but a person?

‘What is going on?’

As the person nears, their features are easier to see. 

Eric?

Coming to a halt, my mind blanks, having no clue what is going on.

My eyes widen as he nears, he’s wearing white paint on his face, with a red nose and a creepy red smile painted on his face.

“What the fu—

***

Back in the testing room, extremely confused. Looking to Four, I’m hoping he would know what just happened. Only to find Four looking just as confused as I do.

“F-four?”

“Do not tell anyone about this; especially leaders. Go back to the dormitories. If anyone asks, just tell them that you weren’t fast enough and the clown got you. I will come and get you tonight when everyone is asleep.”

“Wait why?”

“We need answers. The only way we can get those answers is by going to Candor, and finding the person who initiated your aptitude test.”

“Why, though. Four, why did my sim change like that? What is going on?”

“Maeve, I think you’re Divergent.”


	16. 16

My mind hasn’t strayed off for a second of what Four told me. ‘Maeve. I think you’re Divergent.’ I’ve heard people talk about Divergent before.

Their mind isn’t affected by the serums. They are, ‘we’, are a threat to society because of it. We don’t conform to the system. People, people like me…get killed, no, murdered for this. This thing that we are in possession of, whether we want to be or not. We don’t get a choice.

My mission of the day was to try and appear normal all day. By normal, I mean avoiding people at all cost; especially Eric.

Eric.

Things are so weird with him. He frightens me, but at the same time, I like him. I like that he’s scary but kind of sweet; in a weird ‘Eric’ way of being ‘sweet’. Eric understands me, he seems to get me; but I know that he would kill me if he finds out. Without hesitation, he would willingly put a bullet through my brain if he knew of my Divergence.

That scares the sh*t out of me.

***

Later that night, Four came and got me. We made our way to the roof; the one I leapt onto the first day here. As the train passed, we sprung onto it.

Four began explaining to me that he has a few connections and could locate the girl who initiated my test; Alexandra. Not bothering to ask who his contacts were; not like he would tell me anyways.

Minutes passed by before Four told me to get ready to jump. Leaping from the train, my feet connect with the ground; stuck my landing!

Sneaking through the Candor compound, we found their living quarters. Pulling out and uncrumpling a note, Four walked around to find the door that coincided with his paper.

“This is it.” Four quietly knocks on the door. Moments later, the door opens. Alexandrea stood in front of us with a toothbrush hanging out of her mouth. Face contorting in a look of confusion, wondering why we were here.

“My name is Four, mind letting us in?”

“I do mind, but I’m curious so, come on in anyways.” She steps aside ushering us in. Disappearing into the bathroom, I assume to finish brushing her teeth.

Her place is nice, very modern and clean. Taking a seat on her couch, Four decides to stay standing. Arms crossed in front of him, an intimidating look on his face.

“Why are you here?” Alexandra asks coming out of the bathroom.

“You initiated her aptitude testing correct?”

“Y-yes” she hesitated with her answer.

“And- “Four steps closer to her staring her down. “What was her result?”

“A-Abnegation”

“And?” she clenched her jaws, clearly scared of Four and his towering figure.

Sighing, she looked at the ground, “and Dauntless, and Erudite.” So, I really am Divergent.

“Why, would you lie to me about my results?”

“Because, I was hoping you would choose Abnegation. I heard about Erudite and Dauntless’ initiation testing for Divergence. So, to avoid that happening, I just told you about your Abnegation. Yet, you still chose Dauntless, what good did that do anyways?”

“Why would you help me? Why didn’t you turn me in, have me executed?”

“Because of me.” A new voice entered the room. We all turn to the unknown man at the door. Not going to lie, he was gorgeous.

“I’m Dean, Alexandra’s fiancée.” He walked towards us.

“What do you have to do with this?”

“I’m like Blondie: Divergent. Thankfully, no one ever found out; until I told her. I trusted her with this information and I still do. I’m trusting you with this information too.” He points a finger to Four.

“We both are, obviously you aint got a problem with Divergence. Or else she would be dead already and you wouldn’t be here.” She made a good point.

Four and I stayed there for a couple of hours. The three of them gave me tips and advice on how to hide my Divergence and how to go through the rest of initiation.

Before we left Dean asked if we knew his brother.

“Depends, what’s his name?”

“I believe he goes by ‘Puppy’.” This is Puppy’s brother?!

“Yes, I know Puppy!”

“Really? How is he doing? Please tell me. I have avoided Dauntless like the plague, didn’t want to risk it. Unfortunately, that means not being able to see my brother.

“Don’t worry Dean, he’s doing great. He is a tattoo artist. Very good at it too.” I showed him my tattoos. Dean had a look of pride in his eyes.

“Yeah, Sammy was always a great artist. I’m happy for him.”

“Sammy?”  
“Yeah, his name was Sam before he changed it.”

“His new name fits him though.” Alexandra giggled, I nodded in agreement. Although I know his old name, Puppy did not tell me it himself and didn’t give me permission to use it. It is not my place to call him by anything else. He chose Puppy, and that is the name I will use.

“Maeve?” Dean asks, “Take care of my brother for me please.”

I smile softly, “Of course Dean.”

***

On our way back to the Dauntless compound, I fought with myself over what I am going to do with Eric.

I should keep my distance yes, but I also can’t just give him the cold shoulder for the rest of my life. Eric will be suspicious.

Four walks me back to the dormitories.

I thank him but quickly wrapping my arms around his torso in an embrace. Before he can react, I slip into the dormitories and head to bed.

Tonight, was weirdly a relief. I’m not worried about things that much now.

I, Maeve Madore, am Divergent.


	17. 17

Surprisingly, it has been very easy to avoid Eric. Eric hasn’t been around at all. ‘Okay, calm down Maeve. It’s been like a day, you sound like a needy girlfriend.’

We had today off from initiation, so I’ve been wandering around all day. Visited Puppy already, spent most of my time there today. Decided to put something on my legs this time. These beautiful trees, starting at my ankles and running up my legs. The highest tree reaching my mid-thigh.

Bored, I wandered by the clubs of Dauntless to see if I could swipe a drink without anyone noticing. Initiates aren’t allowed alcohol, didn’t stop most of them. I spotted a few of them grinding on each other and taking shot after shot.

Target sited, this drunk fool is barely conscious. I could easily steal his drink. Smirking to myself, I maneuver my way around the sweaty crowd of people, closing in on my prey.

The drunk was too preoccupied with his shoes to notice my hand reaching for his mug. I was too preoccupied with my mission that I didn’t notice the man next to me grabbing my wrist harshly.

Petrified, I had been caught, but not by just anyone. Eric, of course, it couldn’t be anyone else? If you were to get caught breaking a rule, Eric is the last one you’d want to be caught by.

Eric yanked me closer to him. Putting my free hand out to stop myself from colliding with his chest. Being this close to him, I can smell the alcohol in his breath.

“I need to speak with you Pinky.” Eric slurred out, almost stumbling over.

“What about?” It can’t be, he can’t know about it. Then again, it is Eric, wouldn’t be surprised if he knew; he’s probably got connections. ‘Don’t be ridiculous; if he knew then I’d be dead.’

“Drinking is forbidden for initiates” Eric drags me out of the club, he’s pulling hard; this is going to bruise. Jerk!

“Eric, let go of me.” I pull back from him. Ignoring my words, he tightens his grip and continues dragging me through the halls. “Eric! Stop!” I dig my heels in the ground. Turning, Eric grabs my shoulder and shoves me against the nearest wall.

“You played me d*mnit. You really did.”

“What are you on about?”

“Cut the act Maeve. I saw you with Four the other day. You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?”

“What the h*ll Eric! How dare you? How. Dare. You! It is none of your business who I hang out with, we aren’t dating.”

“You’re right, we aren’t dating. Which means you’re free to wh*re around with whoever you wa—” he didn’t get to finish that sentence, because my forehead met his nose.

Spinning on my heels, I calmly speed walk away and go to bed.

**

Waking from a deep slumber, I couldn’t tell if last night was a dream. After walking into the sim testing room and seeing Eric with a nice puffy nose confirmed that last night wasn’t a dream.

Avoiding eye-contact, I sat myself down on the testing chair.

“Let’s do this sh*t.”

“H*ll yeah” Four responds.

***

I’m standing in the dormitories, alone and covered in…mud? Shower? I guess? I’m the only one in here so might as well.

Walking into the bathroom, I strip down and turn the shower on. Lathering myself in soap, and scrubbing the mud away. Soaping up my hair, I close my eyes and enjoy the sensational head massage that I give myself; I deserve this!

My momentary bliss comes to an end when a hand makes its way around my mouth, and the other across my bare chest.

Twisting and writhing around, trying to get away, the hand on my mouth goes to my throat and squeezes down on my windpipe.

As the air begins to escape my lunges, my attacker breaths in my ear.

“Feisty, aren’t we prinscesa?” his disgusting voice echoes inside my head.

He begins dragging me out of the shower. Not giving up, I bend my legs and bring them up to my chest. Thrusting them down with all my strength, sending the attacker toppling over me with a loud groan.

Making a run for it, I almost escape the dormitories until I’m tackled to the ground.

He flipped me over and straddled my legs, using one hand to grab my wrists, and starts undoing his belt with his free hand.

No, no, no! This can’t be happening, fight back Maeve! I can’t though, I can feel my weakness.

I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…

***

Where am I? What the h*ll is going on? I don’t know where I am. My vision is blurry and the room is spinning.

A loud ringing is blaring through my ears; it’s me, my voice, I’m screaming.

Two figures loom over me, shaking me. I recognize one of them, he was in one of my nightmares.

Pulling my arm from his grasp, shrieking at the man. I writhe around trying to free myself.

They repeat my name over and over. When the tall one turns slightly to grab a tranq needle, I use this opportunity the kick the ‘nightmare; in his hip, wrench one of my arms free and start punching my way out.

Somehow able to slip around them with my tiny frame, I run out the door as fast as my feet can carry me. The next room was full of scared people like me.

The ‘nightmare’ was yelling my name and coming after me. I must be faster than him, can’t let him get to me. Bad things will happen if he gets me.

Running through the halls, I try to lose him. Making it across The Chasm, I look behind me to see if I lost him. My body collides with another body.

Hitting the person with such force causes me to stumble backwards. The person who I ran into reached a hand out to stabilize me, but water that dripped from the condensation on the ceiling caused me to slip.

I’m falling, my head connects with a hard metal object, but then…I keep falling…


	18. 18

****Shout out to capstefanbrandt on tumblr for helping me fix my writers block for this chapter****

Waking. I’m surrounded by blackness; not for long though because my eyes slowly flutter open. My blurry vision fades as my eyes begin to focus together. I’m in a room, there’s medical stuff everywhere so I assume I’m in a private room in the infirmary.

‘How did I get here?’ I begin to recall the events of yesterday. It was the usual routine; wake up, all the girls help each other to get some shower privacy, go to the mess hall for breakfast, go to the sim waiting room and wait all day, then begin the sim. I remember my sim vividly, but I can’t remember anything after that.

Searching my brain, trying to remember, my thoughts are interrupted by the door creaking open. Eric’s head pops into the room; his face shows signs of relief and seems a little happy to see me awake.

Coming all the way into the room, he gently closes the door and shuffles his feet to a chair on the bedside.

“How you feeling?” Eric shifts in the chair trying to get comfortable.

“I feel like there’s an anvil on my chest. I feel like I haven’t slept in weeks. I don’t want to move or do anything ever again. Just let me lay in this bed forever.”

Eric chuckles, “Yeah, the nurse said you’d feel like that. She said you had a severe panic attack and that it totally drains the body of all its energy.” That explains some things.

“Wait, Eric, why am I even in here?”

“You don’t remember?” he leans forward in his chair, placing his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together in front of him; he looks slightly concerned.

“I remember everything up to my fear sim and what occurred in the sim, but nothing after that.” Eric leans back and shifts uncomfortably in his chair again. I can see how he could be uncomfortable, I’m uncomfortable. My fear was being attacked when most vulnerable and…taken advantage of. Eric and Four both had to just stand there and witness that without being able to do anything to stop it.

“We pulled you from the sim, your vitals were going haywire. When you came out of the sim you were scared and confused. So, you fought your way out of the room and ran. You then ran into someone and almost fell down The Chasm. Luckily, I ran after you and was able to catch up in time to save you.”

He saved me?

“Thank you, Eric. For saving me from you know…death. His mood then took a 180-degree turn, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah well, I wouldn’t have  _had_ to save you if you didn’t have an outburst.”

“An outburst?!”

“Yes, an outburst. You over-reacted and didn’t control yourself.”

“You can’t be serious right now!”

“Dauntless don’t run away from their fears; Dauntless aren’t cowards.”

“It was my first time with that sim!”

“That might have been the only time you got to practice that sim! You have four weeks left before the final test where they throw all your fears together and you must complete all of them and get them done in good time. The only time someone is pulled out is if the majority rule of leaders agree to pull them; but it’s automatic failure and they are immediately removed from Dauntless and become factionless.”

“Eric, I had a normal human reaction to fear.”

“Dauntless don’t  _get_ to have those reactions. We’re the warrior faction. We’re brave, we’re tough, and we aren’t  _cowards_. If you can’t handle this then you don’t belong in Dauntless and should leave.” Eric was looming over my bedside, towering over me.

My blood began to boil. How dare he try and convince me to leave! How dare he accuse me of being a coward! The  _nerve_ that this man has.

Wiggling around, I’m able to sit up with a few huffs of frustration.

“So, I guess that means you’re 100% sure that you’re Dauntless?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” he snarls.

“You never once questioned whether you made the right choice? You never once questioned whether you had the ability to make it past initiation? Even when you were bested by Four, you never doubted whether you had what it takes to be Dauntless?”

Eric lunges forward causing me to fall back flat on the bed. His hands slam down on the bed next to my face, making me jump. His eyes were dark, and a sharp blue fire seemed to be set ablaze in them as he peered into mine.

I glared back at him with the same intensity, not backing down. My heart-monitor betrayed me though, letting out loud and quick—beeps—signaling that my heart-rate was rising drastically; I am honestly terrified right now.

“You better choose your next words  _very_ carefully Pinky. Your life might depend on it.” Eric growls; he’s so close though that I can feel every hot word he breaths.

“I am  _not_ the first to admit that they have doubts about their choice, and I’m not going to be the last. It is not unusual for people to be afraid, it’s part of our emotions; and I don’t think emotions are a weakness. It’s smart to know what you can and cannot bear, that way you won’t be reckless and go into situations with false hope and be in way over your head. That to me, is the opposite of a warrior. Dauntless isn’t all about being tough and feared; it’s about bravery and courage remember? I think it’s  _very_ brave and courageous to admit your emotions.”

There were so many things running through Eric’s brain. You could see it in his eyes, the wheels were turning. Unfortunately, we were interrupted by the creaking door. Eric quickly stepped backwards, putting space between us as a nurse entered.

“is everything okay in here? How you doing Maeve?”

“I’m doing good, extremely exhausted though.” I let out a fake laugh.

“Oh, I have no doubt about it. You know, the body uses up the same amount of energy when having a panic attack that it would if it were having a heart-attack. Which is why you feel this way. Your body needs to regain its energy.”

“When can she leave the infirmary?” Eric asks the nurse.

“She is free to go whenever. Just make sure to get some rest and regain your energy alright?”

“Olay.”

“Alright, feel free to leave whenever.”

“We will be leaving now.” Eric decides I’m not arguing with that, the infirmary is kind of creepy.

After I check out of the infirmary, Eric leads me through Dauntless. We seem to be in a living quarters of some kind.

“Nurse said you needed to get some rest. You won’t be getting any sleep in the dormitories, trust me, everyone will not want to leave you alone. So, you can crash at mine for now.”

“A-at your p-place?” This is his apartment? He brought me to his apartment?

“Yeah, you can’t tell anyone though. We both will get in major trouble, got it?” he fishes out a key and unlocks the door letting us in.

I’m in  _the_ Eric’s apartment.

“you were right about one thing Maeve.” He says as he gives me a brief tour of his apartment, which is surprisingly very clean.

“I do have doubts…sometimes. You just gotta work through it though and face your fears.” He stops short in front of some double doors. “Like how I’m facing one of my fears right now.” He breathes out a sigh.

“What fear is that?” he begins to open the double doors, and steps into a master bedroom. Turning to me, he answers with a soft yet scared smile.

“My fear of loving you.”


	19. 19

This is the second time waking up in Eric’s bed; two days in a row. Pulling the sheets up to cover my chest.

‘Where did Eric go?’

Can’t help but thinking that one of these times, Eric is just going to kick me out. It’s so awkward, I don’t know what to do in these situations.

My attention goes to a door creaking open on the right-side of the bedroom. Eric strolls out, freshly showered with nothing but a towel around his waist. Can’t help myself from blushing at the sight of his body. Eric had way more tattoos on his body than I thought; they were beautiful. So many different patterns and words, etched into his skin. Glistening from the water droplets running down his bare chest.

Strutting over to me, he bends down and stares directly at me. Blushing at his closeness, I pull the sheets tighter to my chest.

“Morning Pinky. Did you sleep well?” he asks in a husky voice. Not being able to form words, I just nod my head quickly. “Good” he quips, giving me a quick kiss on the lips before walking to his closet.

“Shower, I’ll make us breakfast.” Eric drops the towel revealing his fully nude body.

Turning away, I give him some privacy. Except I can’t look away. I can’t help but stare at his beautiful body. No, it’s not my first time seeing Eric nude, but its different. Before, it was when we were, intimate; this isn’t the same.

Eric catches me staring and I jerk my head away from him. Embarrassed that I had just been caught staring.

He lets out a loud chuckle, “You’re welcome to stare Pinky. I don’t’ mind” he smirks. That c*cky b*stard. Waiting until he leaves the room, I speed into the bathroom. Glancing in the giant bathroom mirror, I notice my bright red, blushing cheeks.

Stepping into the shower, I notice a new bottle of shampoo and conditioner, for women; along with a fruity scented body wash. I knew they were new because they weren’t there yesterday when I showered.

Yesterday.

It was weird yesterday. I was woken up by hundreds of little kisses from Eric. He woke me up with just enough time to shower here and make it back to the dormitories before anyone woke up. Easily slipping into bed and ‘woke up’ without anyone wondering where I was.

My fear sim threw me off yesterday. My fear of being factionless. I was a wreck afterward, immediately going to Eric afterward for comfort. I didn’t tell him about the sim though, he would have just lectured me to death, and then I ended up here again.

A wave of happiness came over me. There’s an ache in my chest. It’s not a hurtful ache, it’s just an ache in my chest when I think of him. It’s a powerful, emotional ache. I honestly don’t know how to deal with it.

Finishing my shower, I grab a towel from the rack. Wrapping the soft towel around my body, there’s a knock on the bathroom.

Slowly opening it, Eric was standing in front of me with a pile of neatly folded clothes.

“You washed my clothes?”

“No, not yet. I just looked at what sizes they were the other day and just bought some.”

“You bought me clothes?”

“Nothing fancy, just basic initiation clothing for when you stay over.” He handed me the clothes and walked out of the room.

Closing the bathroom door, I’m flabbergasted. He bought me shower stuff and clothes. My mind races with questions and theories as I get dressed. He lied, these aren’t basic clothing, this is way softer!

Slipping into kitchen, I slowly sit on a stool and his counter-top bar. Staring at his back, I see how his muscles move while he cooks.

“Eric?”

“Yeah?”

“You like me, right?”

“Yes, I like you.”

“Do you…like me, like me?”

“Maeve, I don’t just cook for anybody you know. I don’t buy things for just anybody either. Especially not tampons.” He mumbles that last part under his breath, but I’m able to hear it.

“You bought me tampons?!”

“And pads. Didn’t know which one you preferred.”

“Why. Why would you do that?” I asked as he grabbed plates for us. They were up high and took advantage of that, watching his muscles stretch.

“I don’t know.” He pauses to dish up food, “maybe it’s because I…’like you, like you’? “he smirks c*ckily as he takes a seat next to me and begins to eat. Omelets, he made omelets. I love omelets.

“What does that mean to you though; that you ‘like me, like me’? Is this you asking me to move in with you?”

“What?” he puts his fork down, facing me with a puzzled look.

“I-I mean, you bought me shampoo stuff a-and tampons, and clothes! Looks like moving in stuff to me!”

“Maeve, we can’t exactly be seeing each other intimately. I’m your leader, and you’re still in initiation. I want to continue being with you though. So, I took precautionary measure to ensure we won’t get caught. Clothes, so you won’t show up in ‘the night before clothing’ also because I have my own washer and dryer; so, you won’t have to fight for that with others. Tampons and pads because I know you need those and they can get expensive on an initiates budget. Shampoo, conditioner, and body wash so you can shower in privacy and not have to worry about your fear.”

I couldn’t say anything; the ache was back. He really is trying to be with me. Trying to blink back tears, don’t let them fall Maeve. You suck them back in!

All I could do is wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a tight embrace. He honestly doesn’t know how much I appreciate this.

Letting go, he turns is face away from me, clearing his throat before continuing to eat. Eric was hiding his blushing cheeks from me!

Finishing my breakfast, I had to go back to the dormitories before anyone woke up.

I didn’t leave before giving Eric a soft kiss on the cheek.


End file.
